Cry Me A River, Micheal Lacey

Tony Ortega’s former boss, Michael Lacey, who stands accused of using the shuttered Backpage website to profit from human trafficking and prostitution is out on a $1 million bail bond. Apparently he is so conflicted about his role as heading the largest online brothel in the world that he’s decided to take a fun-filled trip to Hawaii to really give him a chance to work on his tan (and presumably whatever remorse his shriveled heart is capable of feeling having ruined so many lives.)

Unfortunately for Lacey, the terms of his bond dictate that he has had to wear an ankle monitor since he was released from custody on April 18, 2018. This week, while busy working through all of his remorse or whatever, he some how mustered the temerity to ask a judge if his ankle monitor could be removed so he could enjoy the beach on his vacation.


To say Federal prosecutors were unsympathetic to the request would be an understatement. In a swift and heated response prosecutors for the government forcefully argued the monitor should not be removed and, in the course of making it’s argument against the motion, revealed new details in the year-old case against Lacey and the other former Backpage executives charged in the case.

The new evidence, the prosecutors said, could make Lacey a greater flight risk. So on Tuesday, U.S. District Judge Susan Brnovich, who was assigned the case in March, decided the monitor should stay on. She suggested Lacey could find activities out of the water to keep himself occupied while presumably struggling with his own feelings of overwhelming guilt and sorrow for the role he played in expanding human trafficking further and faster than any time in human history.

Lacey, of course, was charged as part of a 100-count indictment that included charges of facilitating prostitution and money laundering. Also named in the indictment were James Larkin, the website’s other co-founder, Scott Spear, a former executive vice president, and John “Jed” Brunst, the website’s former chief financial officer.

As we await to see what other names might yet be added to the growing list of future felons to be prosecuted in next year’s case (Tony “Backpage” Ortega perhaps?) we will certainly spare a thought for poor millionaire pimp, Michael Lacey. If his lawyers are right, he’s the real victim after all. He’s the one who will have to drink his Blue Hawaiis poolside instead of on the beach now. Who knew breaking so many laws would come with so many holiday-unfriendly consequences? Cry me a river, Michael Lacey.

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