Ortega’s Petty Pursuit

From time to time we here like to drop in on Tony Ortega’s blog to see what dire, hysterical story he’s breathlessly hawking these days. Someone has to do it. In this spirit of ‘taking one for the team’ we logged on to Ortega’s blog to see what had him ranting.

What we found seemed even petty by Ortega’s standards.

He begins his post like so many narcissists do, by bragging about a recent trip he’d taken to Italy. He seemed to relish the task, peppering his with all the journalist gravitas of a middle-schooler’s dream journal.

He talks of his “jaunt to Venice”, “of stroll[ing] through Milan,” and even how he “happened to catch the final day of professional cycling’s Tour of Italy — Giro dItalia — in the city of Brescia.”

It was while he was in that city that Tony Ortega decided to flex his journalistic muscles and run down the biggest story he could think of: to interview a failed wannabe fashion designer.

We made a pilgrimage,” Ortega explains in his article. A pilgrimage finally worthy of Ortega’s journalistic credentials, finding inseam measurements of twenty years ago in the service of writing a scathing indictment of a group that doesn’t happen to share Ortega’s own morally-bankrupt belief system. Perfect!

As you can imagine, Ortega’s writing is electric on the subject. I’ll spare you the drama Ortega attempts to whip up as he breaks the important news to his readers — the news that, yes… after much searching and great personal sacrifice he, intrepid reporter, Tony Ortega(!) had finally found the piece of the puzzle that would undo his greatest foe and make the world understand that his years of obsession with Scientology were about to pay off.

Tony Ortega had found the measurements and immediately set out to break the story he knew the world had been longing for. His post received a couple dozen views. No word yet from the Pulitzer Prize people.

Is this really what passes for newsworthy reporting on Ortega’s blog? Times must be harder than we thought, Tony. Maybe for your next big expose you could blow the lid off of the mysteries of median shoe sizes at the Celebrity Centre? It could be a big step up for you, Tony…

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