The Unemployed Kept Man

Many questions surround known internet troll Tony Ortega. They’ve been circulating for ages and we’ve all heard them, from the suspicious to the pernicious. To list them all here would take up more column inches then we’re willing to spare today, so we’re going to focus on a particularly curious question that seems to be getting asked with greater frequency these days: How is it Tony Ortega is able to blog about Scientology day and night from the cramped quarters of his “underground bunker” when he remains so famously unemployed?

The simple answer is Tony Ortega is a kept man.

A cursory google search reveals after he was fired from the Village Voice years ago amid a brewing sex scandal that would prove a precursor to the #METOO movement, Tony was, in short order, to be let go from subsequent roles he’d hastily scrambled to secure for himself at both The Raw Story and LipTV. Perhaps his shortened tenures were keeping with his track record of ‘living down to expectations’. Perhaps his repeated terminations were coincidences. Or maybe the cause of his repeated sackings were the result of something more sinister. We may never know and frankly the thought of speculating on the subject gives us a distinctly creepy feeling.

Reports of these allegations aside, this much we do know: Tony Ortega is, and has been for years, chronically unemployed. How then does he keep himself afloat?

The short answer is he doesn’t because he can’t.

His wife does.

Tony Ortega is leeching from his wife’s salary.

Make no mistake, Ortega’s wife, Arielle Silverstein is the pants-wearing breadwinner of the family courtesy of her cushy job at United Nations and maybe more than a little help from the fat-cat wealth of her family overseas.

Some of our readers in Israel have informed us that among his other endeavors Tony’s father-in-law, Leonid Silverstein, co-owns 50% of AL Electricity Engineering Forever LTD which makes, get this, more than 5.5 million dollars a year! A fact has certainly not gone unnoticed by Mr. Silverstein’s opportunistic *#failson*-in-law.

Just how much of daddy-in-law’s nest egg Tony Ortega will content himself to eat away at living as a kept man remains an open question but this much is certain: Tony Ortega may be habitually unemployed but he’s definitely working overtime as a freeloader. But what else can Tony do? Being the mouthpiece for Scientology critics is all he has left of a fledgling journalistic career. Being only able to write about the Scientologists is a fact that, we imagine, eats at Tony more than his dislike of the scientologists….#sleeplessnightswhatthehellamIdoingwithmycareer.

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