Would the Real Tony Ortega Please Stand Up

Given his peerless record of marathon unemployment, finding news about Tony Ortega can be a bit of a challenge. Once upon a time he might have been the number one hit for any given Google search of the phrase “Tony Ortega scandal”. Nowadays he doesn’t even make the top five. Today I thought you might enjoy seeing who our Tony Ortega falls behind when querying his name.

Coming in at number one: Is the real Tony Ortega who gives gifts to himself?

No, couldn’t be our Tony. Looks like this guy holds an advanced degree. That’s not the Tony we know. Maybe he’s this one?

Lying about his age, height and weight? 200% more losses than wins? Feels like we’re getting closer. But no cigar yet…

This one definitely had me convinced it was him at first reading:

Bad interaction. Likes to pretend he’s busier than he is. Hateful experience. Still, that one and a half star rating felt a little high for our Tony so I pressed on in my search.

When this one popped up, I was sure we had a winner:

…That is, until I read ’23-year-old’. Sure, Tony may be cagey about his age but not even Tony Ortega himself could muster up enough misinforming propaganda to convince anyone he is in his prime.

I was about to give up until, like a light at the end of the tunnel, I found the real Tony Ortega:

Tony Ortega’s may come and go but there’s only one by that name who remains an infamous sexploitater. And that’s the real Tony “Backpage Pimp” Ortega.

 

 

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